Creating Hope and Intimacy in Troubled Relationships
Couple's counseling can be difficult to begin. Many couples arrive in the midst of a crisis – an affair, a threat of separation, or an argument that scared both partners. Other couples seek therapy because one partner feels dissatisfied or hopeless about the relationship -- and perhaps aren't sure whether or not they want the marriage to continue.
Sometimes both partners are willing participants in therapy, sometimes not. Often the biggest reason for reluctance is fear of being blamed for the failure of the relationship. Others fear the “stigma” of needing therapy and would rather try to work things out themselves. All of us could use a little help from time to time. At Fergus Falls Family Counseling, we strive to keep the conversations balanced; after all, it really does take two. And often, the relationship sits on the shoulders of the past -- our grandparents way of relating, our parents way of relating, and our own previous relationships
Couple relationships are a complex product of two people's family backgrounds and life experiences. Yet those complexities often don’t show up until a romantic relationship is well established. Then past wounds may be bumped, shame-wires may be tripped, or our partners remind us (whether we recognize it consciously or not) of someone from our family-of-origin who scared us, invalidated us, or never allowed us to be right. Understanding where we come from and how we differ from our partner can be a significant part of growing in intimacy in our relationship.
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